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I Am Human

There is undeniably a certain part of me that I've habited to ignore, or push to the side. I have (very much so) a restless soul. My moods change back and forth, similar to a traffic light: Red, green, yellow, then red again. In my previous post, I mentioned blaming myself for my faults and past mistakes. I think from a souls prospective, we forget that we're human. We beat ourselves up for something that has since happened, and by our dwelling on it, what good does that do for us? Absolutely nothing. We are meant to make mistakes and have faults in order to understand the good in ourselves. 
In part, I believe the restlessness stems from my being a daydreamer. I have all of these ideas on traveling, or visions of new places around the world, but haven't actually visited them physically. I sometimes feel as though I'm being shaken at the edges of my shoulders by my inner-self; It's trying to tell me that it's possible to do all of these things, I just have to take the leap. The realist portion of me (a very small fragment, I can assure you) has a soft, small scream, but still a scream at that. That small, annoying, repetitive little scream bellows out, "responsibility, belongings, bills, school, stability, and safety." 
The fear of mistake is my red light. I fear that by giving up the stability of our cozy downtown apartment, along with many of our belongings, I will later regret it. I fear that once I leave for the travels I have planned, I will lose track of the bills that seem to weigh on me like an extra limb. With that, will I even have the currency to pay them as I venture on my much anticipated journey? These questions have accumulated over the last few months as I have genuinely considered feeding my soul, to watch it flourish as I embark through the potential this life has to share with me. Again, what is life if you are not living it? Then, when I needed it most, I stumbled upon something that made me question if it were by fate: I found this quote on a website that had nothing to do with what I was actually searching for,  “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." 
My apartment and current life could be characterized as my safe harbor, and I'm ready to sail away. And by sail away, I don't necessarily mean traveling the world (just yet), however I mean letting my inner-self take the lead and steer me to the direction of abundance. I will no longer fear making mistakes, because God knows I've made plenty of them. I've blamed myself, dwelled, and fallen back into their routines. Today is a new day, and I am human. As humans, we make mistakes to learn and grow, but are often reminded of our mistakes if not by ourselves, by our peers and loved ones. Take a moment and let yourself forgive: forgive yourself, and forgive those around you, whether it be a lover, a friend, a stranger, or someone who has hurt you. Not only it is unhealthy for the both of you to possess this feeling, but there is no reason not to forgive. We are all human. No matter the severity, tomorrow is a new day to work towards change. You get upset when not forgiven, correct? Is it that everything is justifiable if wronged by you? By forgiving another, it does not give them power; it gives you the power. You no longer hold that burden, for you have let go. The hardest of all however, is forgiving yourself. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Like we've been told since we learned to speak, no one is perfect. Embrace your emotions and forgive. Let yourself be free of burdens and feel sadness, regret, shame; for they make our hearts strong. Then, move on. We all go through life together with all sorts of challenges. Tomorrow is a new day, my friend. Don't look for the future, embrace the now. I promise you, you will not regret it.

Comments

  1. AnonymousAugust 2, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    I LOVE THIS.

    I have been having these "my life is passing me by" moments lately, and it is just so wonderful that I read this post when I did.

    You're great, Leah. I don't think Mitchell's is in my future with school starting full time now and my hours increasing at my other job...soooo we must reunite outside of there, k? :]

    ReplyDelete

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