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My Name is Leah, and I Sat Alone At the Lunch Table

Pianist, Ludovico Einaudi has captured my heart. His nonverbal melodies have spoken to me louder than any poet, self-help guide, or spiritual leader has preached. Einaudi's music has been on repeat in my itunes for days, and I cannot get enough-- specifically his piece called "I Giorni".

I've been fortunate enough to have three days away from work, aside from a brief meeting on Monday. During my extended weekend, I explored more into my sense of "self". Friday night after work, and an even longer work-week, I was a scattered mess, feeling a little misunderstood and unbalanced. I put on Einaudi and simply listened. I felt what it was like again, for the first time in a long time, to have a quiet mind. Given, before hitting play on his album, I jumbled together my brutally raw emotions and put them in a long (okay, 7 paragraphs) email to my mom in Costa Rica. I typed each word without looking back; cried, laughed, and cried again, I wrote. After, I felt refreshed. I suggest doing so, even if it's only in a journal and not to an actual person.

As I was saying, listening to Einaudi I heard only melodies; there were no words to catch my attention, no words to ponder. With that, my mind quieted. I spent most of the day with only myself, but still felt as if I were in great company. I came across a quote from Eckhart Tolle, the author of "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth":
‎"You are the light of the world. You are the consciousness that
illuminates the world. Know yourself as that, and that's freedom,
liberation, awakening, the end of suffering and madness. And it's
happening right here."
Although I was alone physically, I felt the light inside me; connected to the energy around me. We all have an eternal light within us, but our loud thoughts and conversations we have with ourselves override that light. Also, we have work, television, news, social events, friends, problems, bills-- all the distractions that keep us from sitting in the the quiet to enjoy our being; our light. There has undeniably been a shift in universal light within us all, which Eckhart Tolle meant when he said, "And it's happening right here." We just have to figure out our own unique way of finding it within ourselves. We will-- and we will soon.
I sincerely enjoy spending time alone. As a an only child, growing up I spent time in solitude pretty frequently. At that time however, it was popular to hang out in groups (I guess you could say it still is to an extent) and be with friends as much as possible. If you sat alone at the lunch table, you were looked at as an outcast or strange in some way; maybe even looked at as insecure. However, the most secure of people enjoy their alone time solely for that purpose-- security and confidence. It takes a content and confident woman/man to sit alone and enjoy that time spent with "self." And to enjoy that time fully, is a quiet mind-- which takes much practice. Once you can quiet your mind of what's happened/will happen, or any of the non sense, you can truly appreciate the now-- and the light within you, which is connected to everything. When you're truly living in the moment, it doesn't matter who's in your presence-- you're happy, you're content; "You are the consciousness that illuminate the world."
There is no greater love than the love you have for yourself. So treat yourself to a little alone time, and rediscover the love that's been there along along; rediscover your light, and share it with everyone around you.


Comments

  1. April ELISEAugust 10, 2010 at 12:48 PM

    I sat alone too :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leah The OrdinaryAugust 23, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    Until we found each other sophomore year, then we sat together. Well, junior year officially, since sophomore year we had different lunch hours.
    Um, do you need a tissue? ;)

    ReplyDelete

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